Rather than waste any more of your time with the pointless debate over whether Tiger will play in next week’s Masters (I don’t care either way, for the record), here is some alternative material to impress your friends who golf, annoy those who don’t, and bore the living crap out of your spouse.
Who will win?
Jimmy Walker. Dustin Johnson. Rickie Fowler. Throw a dart. Anyone but Bubba Watson again, please.
Or how about this?
Two guys over 50 finished in the top 10 at the 2014 Masters: Miguel Angel Jimenez (51) was fourth and Bernard Langer (57) was eighth. Before you dismiss their chances as preposterous, consider this: Jack Nicklaus was 46 when he won and Ben Crenshaw was 43. Both Jimenez and Langer have consistently played more high-level competitive golf than Nicklaus and Crenshaw did prior to their victories. Realistically, though, Langer is not a consideration but Jimenez, who hasn’t missed a cut at Augusta since 2003, has an outside chance to enhance his reputation as “The Most Interesting Man in Golf.”
If you think that’s ridiculous and you’re betting on a 20-something next week, you lose. Charl Schwartzel was the last to do it, at the age of 29, in 2011. His countryman, Trevor Immelman, did it in 2008 at the same age.
My pick? Martin Kaymer of Germany — he’s 30, by the way. For the past few years, foreigners have alternated with Americans as winners at Augusta, so this would extend the pattern. OK, so that’s weak, but Kaymer’s game is anything but. The former world No. 1 (now 12th) is rounding into form after his (to me) inexplicable decision to rework his swing. He is comfortable hitting a draw, generally accepted as the preferred shot shape at Augusta, and is no longer intimidated by the tournament’s aura. This would give him the third leg of the career Grand Slam, as he won last year’s U.S. Open and the 2010 PGA Championship.
Canadian content
Everyone knows the Maple Leaf will be carried by 2003 Masters champ Mike Weir and promising young amateur Corey Conners of Listowel, Ont., who got his ticket by being a finalist at last year’s U.S. Amateur. So, as the aging Weir is a walking emergency ward and little is expected of Conners, this will be another year when we are just interested bystanders.
Aside from Weir’s stunning victory, our previous best chance was in 1969 when George Knudson finished tied for second with Billy Casper and Tom Weiskopf, one shot behind George Archer. It was said that playing with the turtle-like Cary Middlecoff threw him off his game. More likely, it was his suspect putting on Augusta’s greens In seven Masters appearances, he posted three top-10 finishes.
Yes, Moe Norman played in two Masters by invitation as the Canadian Amateur champion. (And, no, his behaviour had nothing to do with that exemption being withdrawn thereafter.) In 1956, he shot 75-78, then withdrew halfway through the third round. In 1957, he shot 77-74 to miss the cut by one stroke. According to Tim O’Connor’s book, The Feeling of Greatness, Norman had to withdraw from his first Masters after turning his hands into raw meat by hitting an estimated 800 range balls in four hours, working on a swing tip from Sam Snead. (By the way, the book is a good read and dispels many widely held myths about Norman.)
Finally, Sandy Somerville of London, Ont., was invited by Bobby Jones to play in the Augusta National Invitation in 1934, and made the first-ever ace at what now is known as The Masters. Like Jones, Somerville was an astounding lifelong amateur golfer and had won the 1932 U.S. Amateur.
Those pimento cheese sandwiches are great
While I despise them, they are part of the mystique of The Masters and if you are planning an authentic Masters party you should try to replicate them. (Here is a recipe for a reasonable facsimile.) You should also serve pulled pork on a bun and charge your guests about a third of what they would pay at a PGA TOUR event, which is what they do at Augusta.
What’s with skipping the ball at 16?
There are few places more entertaining at Augusta than sitting in the stands at the 16th during practice rounds when players attempt to skip a ball across the pond and onto the green. Allegedly first attempted by (who else?) Lee Trevino, it’s become “a tradition like no other.” Apparently, there have been two aces, by Vijay Singh and Kaymer.