TORONTO — Next to the on-ice or on-court products, nothing is more important to the sports fan’s arena experience than the deliciousness level of the high-calorie foodstuffs we jam down our gullets.
In order to keep its menu fresh and — let’s face it — a little weird, the kitchen at Air Canada Centre recently spent six months working on 18 new items for Toronto Maple Leafs and Raptors fans to snack on this season.
“I’ve tasted them all a thousand times,” says Chris Zielinski, MLSE’s executive chef. “If you try to eat it all, you’re gonna be toast.”
A-ha. A challenge. The intrepid Steve Dangle and I tried to eat them all, and yes, we were toast.
You can read Dangle’s version of the event’s here, and be sure to check out the video evidence above.
We now know what to order next time we attend a Maple Leafs or Raptors game, and we are passing on our sport-eating review to you, the hungry consumer, prior to opening night.
Rated on a scale of 1 to 5 “Shanahams,” from the sushirito to the peanut-allergy-beware panzerotti, here’s how the new ACC menu shakes out.
Sushirito
Price: TBD
Rating: 5 Shanahams
Chef says: “A burrito-style service of sushi that is hand-held. This one has salmon and tuna, a little bit of tobiko, crispy tempura bits, lettuce and cucumber.”
Sportsnet says: So what if it’s just a log-shaped handroll with nary a refried bean? We would like to service this Edo concoction into our bellies during every intermission.
Buffalo chicken grilled cheese
Price: $12
Rating: 5 Shanahams
Chef says: “Buffalo sauce, chicken and cheese served on our Hawaiian bread, which is a sweeter bread.”
Sportsnet says: ”Buffalo” anything is a winner in our books. Culinarily speaking, of course.
Sweet Wally’s desert taco
Price: $5
Rating: 4 Shanahams
Chef says: “Wally is our pastry chef. This has apple pie filling, whipped cream. Pralines on top with a bit of caramel sauce.”
Sportsnet says: The messiest item on the new menu is also the best desert going. High caloric and tastiness values through the roof.
Smores/Oreo /Turtle popcorn
Price: $6
Rating: 4 Shanahams
Chef says: “Our Smarties popcorn was very successful, so this year we busted into some new categories.”
Sportsnet says: The way the popcorn sticks to the homemade smores’ marshmallowy centre is a delight.
Sumo dog
Price: $9
Rating: 3.75 Shanahams
Chef says: “A Japanese-style sausage topped with crispy tempura bits, bean sprouts and a wasabi mayo.”
Sportsnet says: Tempura bits make a trip to the kiosk formerly known as Burkie’s Doghouse worthwhile.
Mushroom bacon dog
Price: $9
Rating: 3.75 Shanahams
Chef says: “A bacon-wrapped Nathan’s dog. On top of it you got Swiss cheese and mozzarella as well as sauteed mushrooms and green onions.”
Sportsnet says: Meat-wrapped meat is the most esteemed form of gluttony, but the cheese is a bit too Cheez Whiz-like.
Guacamole and spinach grilled cheese
Price: $12
Rating: 3.5 Shanahams
Chef says: “We had some requests for more vegetarian options. It’s delicious and reasonably healthy. At least it offers some vegetables.”
Sportsnet says: You don’t make friends with salad.
Cheeseburger fries
Price: $9 (serving of four)
Rating: 3.5 Shanahams
Chef says: “Tim Leiweke was all over it. As soon as he tried it, he said, ‘We have to have this on the menu.’ This one’s for Tim.”
Sportsnet says: Ground beef, cheese, pickles and ketchup deep-fried to look like fresh fries, then plunked in a secret sauce. I feel unclean and confused.
Tex-Mex mac and cheese
Price: $9
Rating: 2.75 Shanahams
Chef says: “Our house-made chili on top of mac and cheese. This one’s for serious hunger. I wouldn’t attempt this if you were just in the mood for a snack.”
Sportsnet says: The jalapeno peppers are this meal’s saving grace. Sticks to your ribs.
PB and J panzerotti
Price: $6.25
Rating: 1.5 Shanahams
Chef says: “Peanut butter, jelly, sliced strawberries and slices of banana deep-fried with some icing sugar on top.”
Sportsnet says: Are you a dessert or a sandwich? It tastes like ambiguity and a childhood lunch I’d rather forget.
(Fox photos)