TORONTO -- As the Blue Jays-Pirates game crept toward the 14th inning on Friday night, Ryan Burr stood on the mound in the left-field bullpen while a wide range of emotions swept through his body.
There was a cocktail of adrenaline, excitement, nerves and gratitude.
"Everything," Burr says. "All the feels."
There was also a number that ran through his mind as the Blue Jays right-hander tossed his warm-up pitches: 745.
It represented the number of days since Burr last appeared in a major-league game.
The 30-year-old, who was acquired on Thursday from the Philadelphia Phillies in exchange for cash considerations, has been counting those days and though he didn't end up getting into the extra-inning contest, Burr did pitch in Saturday's 8-1 loss to the Pirates, contributing 1.2 innings of scoreless relief.
As his magic number officially ended at 746, it's not lost on Burr how far he's come over the past two years.
He had surgery to address a labrum tear in his right shoulder in June of 2022 and then, following the 2023 campaign, went under the knife again due to a meniscus injury. That's plenty of rehab to fight through in such a short span and it resulted in Burr being confronted with some "dark days."
"You make your identity a baseball player and when you put everything in one box, you think all you can be is a baseball player," says Burr, who also underwent Tommy John surgery in 2019. “So, when you're hurt and not feeling good, you kind of feel useless. You don't feel like you're part of the team. It's a very lonely feeling."
Burr admits he was seriously considering retirement just a few months ago.
"I was in spring training still kind of battling through some soreness on the knee and the shoulder and I was just not having a good time," he recalls. "Not having fun playing baseball. The injuries took that away from me. When you get hurt, you start to almost hate the game. You hate what it does to you and how it makes you feel because you feel worthless when you can't be a part of it."
The right-hander credits his wife, Madison, and a sports psychologist with the Phillies for helping to reframe his thoughts and pull him back from the idea of ending his career.
Burr, who appeared in 66 games over four seasons with the Chicago White Sox, began to understand that his position within the sport didn't define him. He learned to appreciate the many good qualities he possesses and found meaning in how he carries himself as a husband, brother, son and friend.
"We treat baseball like it's everything because you kind of have to in this league," says Burr. "But at the end of the day, we're human beings and I think the human being should come first. That's what I've started to do — put myself first as a human, baseball player second. And I think that has really opened myself back up to having a good time and enjoying again."
That level of enjoyment, coupled with a full return to health, has contributed to Burr's excellent results this season. He posted a 2.16 ERA across 16.2 innings with a whopping 29 strikeouts for the Phillies' triple-A affiliate.
The Blue Jays envision using him as a traditional bullpen arm and with the demotion of right-hander Erik Swanson and injury to closer Jordan Romano, there could be an opening to see if Burr can translate his success to the major-league level.
"What we liked was the strikeouts, for one, and maybe adjusting some of the pitch-mix arsenal," said Blue Jays manager John Schneider on Friday. "Not a lot, because he's getting good results right now, but I think there's definitely a lot of upside in him in terms of what he can offer out of the bullpen with the fastball-slider combo.”
If Schneider needs a deeper scouting report on Burr, he could simply turn to Blue Jays starter Kevin Gausman, who pitched against the right-hander when they were teenagers. Gausman attended Grandview High School in Aurora, Colorado, while Burr went to nearby Highlands Ranch.
Gausman, 33, remembers Burr's strong arm and says elite pitchers from their home state are pretty much a fraternity because they're so rare.
"There's not great baseball in the state of Colorado," Gausman says. "So, you know the really good arms. The pitchers all knew the guys that kind of had a shot."
Gausman has been following Burr's progress since the latter attended Arizona State University and has been "rooting for him" all along.
"When I first met him, he was a freshman in high school, maybe even younger than that,” says Gausman. “Now, he's a grown man. It's cool to see people from your past."
When Burr arrived in the Blue Jays clubhouse on Friday and reunited with Gausman, he called the veteran a nickname that nobody on the team had heard before. Gausman declined to share the moniker, yet smiled as he recounted its impact on teammates.
"It kind of rattled the guys a little bit, so that was funny," says Gausman. "It's a nickname that only people from back home call me."
It's a small example but also an important one that shows, at the very least, Burr is back to having fun again in his baseball journey.
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