Maple Leafs crush lifeless Blackhawks in Patrick Kane audition

TORONTO – Bearded wise man Jake Muzzin once said that the Toronto Maple Leafs sometimes prefer themselves an “easy game.”

Well, they don’t get much easier than Wednesday’s 5-2 laugher over the dreadful Chicago Blackhawks.

A mighty mini dynasty in the first half of the last decade, under rookie general manager Kyle Davidson, Chicago is now embracing full Bruno Caboclo status: two years away from being two years away.

The Windy City teardown is so severe, the on-ice product so incomplete and uninspired, Leafs coach Sheldon Keefe found it difficult to even feign enthusiasm over his players’ bounce-back victory.

“Frankly speaking, it’s a game we’re not going to evaluate too much, in terms of anything good, anything bad. We’re gonna wash it, move on, enjoy a day off tomorrow, and get ready for Montreal (on Saturday),” Keefe said.

“We got a tired team in here on a back-to-back, and it’s a team that I didn’t think had much life tonight.”

When you're strolling through the morgue, you don’t bother checking the cadavers for a pulse.

The Blackhawks play in the weakest conference yet have managed the fewest wins (16). They’re stumbling toward the March 3 trade deadline having lost three straight by a margin of three or more goals. They’ve yet to win on the second half of a back-to-back and barely contend in the first half of them.

So, yeah, Chicago stood a marshmallow’s chance in an incinerator of surviving its lone trip to Toronto, where the Maple Leafs were coming off three days’ rest, had received a series of group and individual smarten-up talks from their coaching staff, and were welcoming the return of MVP Auston Matthews to the lineup.

“Yeah, it didn’t look like he was away for three weeks,” smiled Rasmus Sandin, after watching Matthews rip his trademark wrister, add an assist, and look every ounce like his dominant self.

“It’s Auston. You want him in the lineup every time you can.”

Perhaps more impressive than his multi-point night was Matthews’ engagement leading up to puck drop. He skipped out on the beach vacations many of his peers took to Barbados, Miami, and Turks and Caicos and instead remained in chilly Toronto to rehab his sprained knee.

Prior to winning the opening faceoff, Matthews drew up this quick-strike play in the dressing room that sprung winger William Nylander free for a burst up the gut and a tally nine seconds in:

“We’ve been talking to our guys a lot about taking charge. A lot of these guys have been playing together for a long time now. They have a sense of what the structure is, and they know what they can do when they get the information on faceoffs. They have a lot of flexibility to call plays and get organized themselves. And that’s what you want. You want the players out there taking charge,” Keefe said. “They have a feel for things that coaches can’t replicate.

“That’s what you love to see: those guys take that initiative and execute it.”

No doubt, execution comes a touch easier against a toothless Blackhawks side that is preparing to Shed Hard for Bedard™.

Try as they might to hold their heads high, the stacks of rumours upon stacks of losses are visibly weighing on a group that is about to get thinner.

Name a player – for the right price, he could be yours.

Patrick Kane, of course, is the headliner of this sad fire sale.

Through a Blackhawks spokesperson, Kane declined to speak following a minus-1, four-shot, two-giveaway performance with plenty of scouts in attendance (two each repping Dallas and Tampa Bay).

“I know it’s tough. Everyone gets frustrated, and we're losing. No one wants to lose. Definitely not him. He’s one of the most competitive guys I’ve ever met,” said teammate Max Domi, also a pending UFA.

“Selfishly, I hope stays. He’s an awesome guy and Hall of Famer.”

Nylander, too, is a longtime Kane admirer who switched his sweater number to 88.

“Obviously, he’s one of the best to ever play, so it’s always special playing against him,” Nylander said, after a zippy three-point effort. “And it’s just fun in general playing the Blackhawks.”

Especially these days.

Fox’s Fast 5

• Conor Timmins blasted a beauty one-timer from the point for his second goal and 13th point as a Maple Leaf through just 19 games. He and partner Rasmus Sandin were both a plus-3 on the night. He has earned a spot in Saturday’s lineup.

The power of Timmins’ one-timer quickly became the stuff of lore in Leafland.

“You know, I think I just took one hard shot when I got here, and they got a hold of that story,” Timmins smiled. “Now I have to prove it a little bit.”

• The Blackhawks have just one player on their roster in the plus column: defenceman Jake McCabe at plus-2.

• Trade bait Jonathan Toews missed his fifth consecutive game Wednesday. He has been placed on injured retroactive to Feb. 7 due to a non-COVID illness.

• As part of Monday’s Blue & White gala, a few Maple Leafs participated in line readings from romantic movies. John Tavares and Mitch Marner tackled a scene from The Notebook:

“It was funner than I expected. I was a little nervous. Really didn’t think I had any type of acting skill, but I got a few compliments from the guys, from my table, so I thought I did all right,” said Tavares, mildly surprised the clip of him on stage got leaked.

“I was pretty impressed with the emotion,” smiled Mark Giordano. “They sort of threw that idea at us, and I thought the guys responded well. I thought we all did a great job.”

Giordano and Michael Bunting performed a scene from Titanic. Naturally, Giordano played Rose.

• The Timo Meier waiting game continues.

Sharks GM Mike Grier will reportedly allow an opposing team to talk long-term extension with his pending RFA only if he likes what their trade offer.

“It hasn’t gotten to that point,” Meier confirmed to SJ Hockey Now. “I can’t really say too much about that. Grier hasn’t come to us.”