Slater Koekkoek has provided an update on his absence from the Edmonton Oilers this season as the defenceman publicly shared his struggles with anxiety on Wednesday.
The 29-year-old was absent from the Oilers at the start of training camp as general manager Ken Holland announced that Koekkoek was taking a personal leave from the team due to mental health reasons. No other update has been provided on his status since.
On Wednesday night, Koekkoek shared an update on his LinkedIn page on why he left the game of hockey over a year ago saying he needed to show others that they were not alone in their battle against anxiety.
"I left the game because my life inside of it had gotten to a place that was unbearable and unhealthy towards my mental health," Koekkoek writes. "I would say I played a majority of my professional games without the ability to eat much, if anything, the night before and the day of the games. Hockey Night in Canada on a completely empty stomach? Lets do this, I guess."
Koekkoek said his form of anxiety, which he says comes in many shapes and forms, was his inability to eat especially while he was with the team.
It was something that he dealt with after comments from teammates that he was not eating, not knowing the struggles he was dealing with.
"I would get comments from teammates saying 'hey Kooks you know the meals are free' due to my weight dwindling, without them knowing the pain I was going through," Koekkoek explained. "I would hear from GMs and Coaches that I needed to put on weight if I was to battle in the corners with the elite of the league not to mention the energy needed to complete these tasks as well. That just put on increased pressure."
Despite being asked by teammates to join them to eat out while on the road, Koekkoek said he would often isolate himself or walk the streets alone and sneak in his takeout orders to avoid questions of whether he had anything to eat.
He said that this was an issue he had been dealing with for a long time and it would impact his play on the ice and eventually he reached a breaking point.
"I kept this in as much as I could my entire career. My dad had a nervous tummy growing up, I thought that is all I had," Koekkoek said. "But when being continuously scrutinized for my on ice performance it caused a downward spiral. A vicious cycle of needing to eat but physically being unable.
"Be kind to one another because you never know what someone might be going through. And stop commenting on people's weight... it's friggen weird."
Koekkoek played in 19 games for the Oilers in 2021-22, picking up four assists. He was originally selected 10th overall by the Tampa Bay Lightning in the 2012 NHL Draft.
