‘One of the hardest days I’ve ever had in hockey’: Canucks bid emotional farewell to Boudreau

VANCOUVER — An older man with a heart bigger than the Stanley Cup got the rare chance Saturday night to say goodbye to his players and his fans. It was the least Bruce Boudreau deserved.

His 48 years in professional hockey, his 68 years on this earth, all those rinks and bus rides and practices and games, all the sacrifice and moments of extreme joy and disappointment, all that he endured this season when his weeks-long dismissal as the Vancouver Canucks’ coach became a public spectacle — all of that led Boudreau to that one moment behind the bench late Saturday, just after his team lost 4-2 to the Edmonton Oilers in what was likely his final game in the National Hockey League.

“You never know if it's the end,” Boudreau, constantly fending off more tears after shedding many in the dressing room, told reporters in a hushed interview room. “So when you've been at it almost 50 years, I mean, the majority of your life and if it's the end. . . I had to stay out there and just look at the crowd and just try to say: 'Okay, remember this moment.'

“I just wanted to savour looking at the stands because who knows if I'm ever going to get this chance again. And just keep that in my mind in the memory. . . let it burn there forever.”

There has never been an ending like this for a coach about to lose his job in the middle of the season.

The game was played on Hockey Night in Canada just after Sportsnet’s Jeff Marek reported that the Canucks will introduce Rick Tocchet as their new head coach on Monday.

Team president Jim Rutherford publicly admitted on Monday that he had spoken with potential coaching candidates. But his blunt criticisms of the team’s “structure” under Boudreau dates to the end of the last season and exploded in November when Rutherford reiterated them on Sportsnet 650 radio.

It seemed then that that would be the end for Boudreau in Vancouver. But his execution was drawn out for another two months and even Saturday, Boudreau noted, he still hadn’t actually been fired.

How did that huge heart of his stay intact through all this?

“I'd like to say alcohol, but I don't drink anymore,” Boudreau said, funny and self-depracating to the end. “The one thing I'll say is I don't think there's anybody that loves the game more than me and will miss the game (more) when I'm out of it — and I hope I never get out. I own a junior team; I might have to fire my kid and coach there.

“I don't know the reasoning why I'm still here. Maybe it's because the next games are Chicago, Seattle and Columbus. For the new group, good luck. I thought it was over in November when there was certain things said and it wasn't. We kept going and we kept going, (but) this last stretch was pretty tough.

“The guys give it their all, and I'm so proud of them. Every one of them. People don't realize how bad they want to win. And when they don't win, they're so upset with themselves. But they came and they worked every day at practice. They didn't question anything I said; they just followed orders. It's a great group of guys that I think Rick Tocchet's taking over.”

The emotion Boudreau displayed in what may have been his final press conference was nothing compared to what occurred down the hallway.

He addressed players before the game, asking them to “play hard for me one last time.” He tried to speak to the group again when it was over but, “I didn't make it too far, I'll tell you that.”

So players spoke to him instead, going one by one into the head coach’s office to thank him.

“We're all crying together, which is silly for us men to do sometimes,” Boudreau said. “I think they would have went through a wall for me and, as a coach, that's all you can ask for, quite frankly.”

Veteran Canuck Curtis Lazar was almost inconsolable, managing to say only: “This is one of the hardest days I’ve ever had in hockey.”

Defenceman Luke Schenn said that Boudreau, in his 14 months coaching the team, would periodically put player numbers on the whiteboard — an invitation to speak to the coach in his office. It was mostly to ask them about their families and their lives, to check in on his players and make sure they were OK.

“It was just real, you know what I mean?” Schenn said.

Earlier, he told reporters: “I think at the end of the day coaching. . . it's not as complicated as people may think. Coaching to me is relationships and that's one thing that stood out to me is he's a people person. Being around a long time, he has a great deal of respect not only with guys in this dressing room, but guys who have played prior on teams that he's coached. Lots of lots of people reach out to guys in this dressing room from around the league and they all want to know about Bruce. And they wouldn't do that if he wasn't a good person. So I think that's the biggest takeaway for me.”

And Boudreau’s biggest takeaway is likely not the bitterness of the ending, but gratitude for the journey. And that powerful, priceless moment when Saturday’s game ended and with the home crowd cheering, and some home players already in tears, Boudreau cupped his hand over his mouth, stared across Rogers Arena to fix in his mind a memory to last forever, briefly clapped his hands to say thank you, then quietly turned and left.