TORONTO — Stop crying, bro.
Start trading. Start firing.
The 2023-24 Toronto Maple Leafs are crumbling into pieces in front of our eyes, their belief morphing into frustration, their greatest strengths dissolving into weaknesses.
Time and again, this era of the hockey team’s core — loaded with high-end talent and blessed with financial security — finds a way to underwhelm and underachieve when the city that cares so deeply wants it the most.
So, as the boo birds flew inside Scotiabank Arena and the scoring chances dried like hope, and the organized but hardly insurmountable Boston Bruins executed a tidy 3-1 road win to match their series lead, the superstars began bickering on the bench.
The clip spread around the Internet faster than the latest Drake diss, and the lip-readers had a field day:
“That’s just the way we are. I mean, we expect a lot from each other, and we love each other. So, I mean, just to push each other, have a high ceiling, I think is great,” William Nylander explained of the spirited exchange.
Frustration must be seeping in, after the NHL’s second-most-dangerous offence has averaged just 1.75 goals per game over the four most important contests of the season?
“I don’t think there’s any,” Mitch Marner replied, after throwing his gloves on the bench. “You know, we’re grown men. We’re talking about plays out there that we just want to make sure we’re all 100 per cent on and know what we’re doing. Just a little bit off-page there.
“And we’re not yelling at each other because we hate each other. We just want to all be on the same page to help each other out to try to get the best offensive chance.
“Willy and I and Auston, we talked about it after. We’re just trying to make a play, and unfortunately enough it didn’t happen on that one.”
Credit stellar Bruins goaltender Jeremy Swayman, a staunch commitment to defence by the visitors and a strict plan put in place by coach Jim Montgomery.
But also blame a Maple Leafs organization that has let it reach this point of familiar ineptitude. Blame a Shanaplan that is now 60 minutes away from squandering yet another season — the eighth — of one of the most promising collections of offensive stars the sport has ever seen.
Individually, Marner and Nylander and Auston Matthews and John Tavares and Morgan Rielly will go down as some of the best players to ever don the Blue and White.
Collectively, they’re about to go down. Period.
Sure, most will be back for 2024-25.
But — barring a miraculous three-win streak, including two inside a hostile TD Garden — there is no way president Brendan Shanahan, whose construction was overseen in Boston in-person by new MLSE boss Keith Pelley early in this series, can allow Sheldon Keefe to coach during his upcoming contract extension.
Nor can the same leadership group, oft-professed love for one another be damned, sell “This year will totally be different!” again in September.
Someone who actually laces up skates before these disappointments must go.
Leafs Nation is too smart to buy that same old pitch.
You can hear it when they boo the home team off the ice in Period 2 and again in Period 3, as the book closes on a sixth consecutive playoff loss on home ice and another feckless offensive effort.
“We have a tremendous fan base, and they want to see us win and have success so badly, so you can’t blame them,” Tavares said.
Marner’s take on the public’s discontent: “I don’t think we can think about that. We’re in the moment playing the game. We’re just trying to do what we can do best out there and, like I keep saying, win games.”
To that end, 35-year-old series hero/villain Brad Marchand has gathered six points, which is the combined total amassed by Matthews, Marner, Nylander and Tavares.
Toronto’s special teams are in shambles, and now its even-strength game is losing patience.
Bottom line: The roster built to score cannot.
The Bruins are seizing mistakes and draining the Leafs’ life.
We won’t question the health issues plaguing Matthews (illness) and Nylander (head) this week.
We will question the idea of pouring all your dreams and dollars into four forwards, betting they’ll all be healthy and dominant for the same two-month window that is the Stanley Cup tournament.
You can put all your eggs in one basket, but what happens when they crack?
We will also question Toronto’s urgency through Saturday’s uninspired first 40 minutes, during which they played like they were trying to force a Game 5.
Rielly: “I didn’t think we came out flat.”
Keefe: “Nothing wrong with our effort level here tonight. Guys are competing. It’s physical hockey. Guys are trying. It’s a good team over there. It’s limiting us. You can question a lot of things, can’t question the effort.”
We hope the Maple Leafs don’t seriously believe this is top effort. Because if that’s true, maybe the series was over before it began.
“Obviously not a great spot we’re in now, but we just have to keep going,” Tavares said, grasping. “Keep believing, keep trusting in each other and go and find a win on Tuesday.”
“Our season’s on the line,” Rielly added.
Jobs will also be on the line in next week’s elimination game(s).
Don’t find a win Tuesday, and there is a real chance the lasting image of Matthews, Marner and Nylander together on a Scotiabank Arena bench will be of them bickering and losing a big game.
Not singing Bon Jovi with a bright world of possibilities ahead.
Fox’s Fast Five
• Still dealing with an illness that took hold after his dominant Game 2 performance, Matthews stopped playing after 40 minutes.
“He’s been giving us everything that he has here. Ultimately, the doctor pulled him,” Keefe said.
• Marchand’s 56th playoff goal, another winner, snapped club president Cam Neely’s franchise record. It was Marchand’s 12th playoff goal in Scotiabank Arena, which ties Bryan Trottier’s all-time playoff record for an opposing player in one rink (Capital Centre).
• Keefe pulled starter Ilya Samsonov (1-3) in favour of backup Joseph Woll after two periods, though we’re hardly pinning this one on the goalie.
“The reason for it is, we’re just trying to change things. You get to get Joe involved. That’s really it. You’re trying to change the momentum,” Keefe said. “As for what we’ll do going forward, we’ve got some time here to talk it through.”
• Toronto’s 1-for-14 power play is such a factor in the series, assistant coach Guy Boucher’s name was trending on Twitter.
“We just couldn’t seem to get into any looks that we want, get anything clean, and we didn’t retrieve pucks as well,” Tavares said.
• Max Domi paid tribute to Bob Cole, donning the classic oh-baby-blue Hockey Night in Canada jacket to the game.
• Let’s do six.
Classy move: Before taking questions postgame, Keefe gave a shout out to the press corps’ beloved Mike Zeisberger, who made his return to the rink Saturday. Welcome back, pal. You were missed.
